Put on your yamukah
It's time for Chanukah
Once again it's Chanukah
The miracle of Chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
One day of presents, hell no
We get eight crazy nights
But if you still feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you
So here comes number three
Ross and Phoebe from Friends
Say the Chanukah blessing
So does Lenny's pal Squiggy
And Will & Grace's Debra Messing
Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon
Never mixed meat with dairy
Maybe they should have called that show
Little Kosher House on the Prairie
We've got Jerry Lewis
Ben Stiller and Jack Black
Tom Arnold converted to Judaism
But you guys can have him back
We may not get to kiss
Underneath the mistletoe
But we can do it all night long
With Deuce Bigalow (I'm Jewish)
Put on the yamukah
Here comes Chanukah
(The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica
Celebrates Chanukah)
Osama Bin-Laden
Not a big fan of the Jews
Well maybe that's because he lost a figure skating match
To gold medalist Sarah Hughes, her mama's Jewish
Houdini and David Blaine
Escaped straight-jackets with such precision
But the one thing they could not get out of
Their painful circumcision
Gwenyth Paltrow's half Jewish
But a full time Oscar winner
Jennifer Connely's half Jewish to
And I'd like to put some more in her
There's Lou Reed, Perry Ferrell
Beck and Paula Abdul
Joey Ramone invented punk rock music
But first came Hebrew school
Natalie Portman-ukah
It's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get an Abtronica
On this joyful, toyful Chanukah
So get a high colonic-ah
And soil your long john-ukahs
If you really, really wanna-kah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy
Happy Chanukah